that gemini spark
The first love we ever experience is from our parents. The way our parents love us sets us up for life. Sorry parents, but you got a lot of responsibility. How you love us from the day we are born until the day we leave the nest will determine everything for us. So you better love us right so we don't spend our whole life looking for the love we did not receive from you.
From a young age I feel as if my perspective of love has been filtered. Flawed. Like I’ve been looking through rose tinted glasses. How do you determine what's real love and what's filtered through the eyes of society? We grow up and get trapped in a loveless marriage because you think you’ve found the one but in reality they aren't who you thought. That love you thought you had - was just lust. But what is lust? Is there really a way to describe it? Is there really a way to describe love? Sure you can love your pet, but that's not the love you fall into. Not the love that consumes you, whether you think love that consumes you is good or bad. I am a true believer that love shouldn't hurt. I’m barely 20 years old, I shouldn't know what it's like to love and expect pain right after. I’ll never understand why people will purposely hurt someone they love.
Over the centuries, somehow it got twisted out to be that with love comes crying and pain once in a while, but how is that actual real love? When you think back to me asking what is the definition of love, does the word pain come to mind? It only does if you’ve been hurt enough by it.
I used to think I was put on this Earth for the sole purpose of loving someone. It’s kind of amusing to look back and think that.. how foolish I was to have thought that way. How innocent. Maybe deep down I still feel that way, maybe I am still just a fool. But I think when your love gets taken advantage of and not reciprocated, you grow to learn what a filtered love looks like. As humans we move with love, and what happens if we start moving with a filtered love. If we start doing all things with a filtered love?
The same event can happen to two different people and you can get two completely different outcomes. Lets say, both of these people grow up without love. Years later, one seeks for love and does all things with love while the other is cold, seeks to be alone and pushes everyone away. To me, it’s crazy how you can get two different outcomes.
How can one say they are a hopeless romantic, but then their actions are nothing like the so called movies we’d obsess over. But that is just filtered love I suppose.
I’m currently reading the book Turtles All the Way Down by John Green and the main character Aza, said something that really resonated with what I’ve been saying. So for your quote of the blog,
“It’s a weird phrase in English, in love, like it’s a sea you drown in or a town you live in. You don’t get to be in anything else—in friendship or in anger or in hope. All you can be in is love.”
-- Xoxo, Jade
