unsent letters, unsaid thanks
So today is Thanksgiving and there is a lot to unpack. Holidays always give me such an uneasy feeling, whether that's because of the messed up reason as to why we are celebrating or because of my past experiences with them, I'm not sure. It's probably both. I was going to say this is the first Thanksgiving I am not spending with my family but realized that would be a lie as in 2017, I went to New York City for Thanksgiving with my best friend and her family. But still, to me that in a way is my second family but this year I really am doing it completely differently. I am in Colorado as we know, and I will be spending it with my coworker's family and a coworker from a job I’ve worked at for a month.
Now I am excited but it really is a different experience. It makes me think of how holidays can be a really weird time for a lot of people. Holidays stopped feeling like holidays years ago and it seems like everyone I talked to feels the same way. Is it our society or generation that is making holidays feel less “important”? That could also be because as a society we are finally speaking up about the horrors associated with holidays.
The origin of Thanksgiving is pretty messed up, to some the holiday is a reminder of the oppression of the Native Americans. The English Colonies declared the day to celebrate colonial soldiers who had just slaughtered hundreds of Pequot men, women, and children. Within the past three years, a lot of Americans have been rethinking the holiday that has marginalized the US’d violence and cruelty against Native Americans.
Which I know brings in the question of why am I going somewhere for Thanksgiving in all reality it's not because I want to celebrate this country's past but because I just to get myself out there more, have a good time, and take a break from work since we are all off. I mean isn't that why we all really celebrate anyways. But I guess the other “purposes” of Thanksgiving are nice. Such as the one to be thankful, although we should really be thankful every day, I know it can be hard when we get so caught up in life. But if you haven't already, make sure you thank those in your life and thank yourself as well because look at how strong and beautiful you are. Your journey is just beginning, don't give up.
It’s been hard to stay motivated lately. It's been hard to write and blog because to me I really have to be in the right mindset to do it. But I am thankful for this blog and am thankful for those who read it. It means the world to me because you are helping me achieve a dream/goal of mine. Although I am not the greatest at staying in touch with those I love, I really do have people in my life that would do anything for me. I sometimes think we need to thank those so please make sure that you take time today and reach out to those people in your life and tell them you love them, that you miss them, and that you are proud of them.
I may not always say anything and you may not always outwardly tell anyone about your progress or your success but I see you. I am proud of you. Even if I don’t know you I am proud of you. I have people in my life that are no longer there that I miss. Maybe if I am brave enough, I’ll send them this although I probably won’t. But if I do, and you read this far. Just know that I miss you and am thankful for the impact you had on my life. It seriously meant a lot to me, especially for me to be thinking of you still.
But to those that are still present in my life. I want to actually thank you. Every person that has come into my life, I remember you and I appreciate you. But you have to remember to be grateful for yourself too. Appreciate yourself and be proud of yourself. I am proud of myself and thankful for this job I'm actually really good at, with coworkers who I like and who like me back. For these friends who make me smile the widest and hardest. To my lover for making me feel loved every day I exist.
“You don't have to understand life, you just have to live it.”
Once again, I am thankful for you. Eat some good food. And celebrate those around you.
Xoxo, Jade
